Having Doubts

At the beginning of this semester, The Lord told me to start reading the Gospels thoroughly. He told me He wanted me to know who Jesus was, inside and out. He wanted me to know exactly what the character of Jesus was, as Jesus's character is God's character. There is no better place to learn His trait's than the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and Acts.

 

I thought that reading these would surely cause my faith to grow fast and in great amounts. But, the more I read, the more questions I started stacking up. Nothing ever caused me not to believe in the undeniable truth that there is a God. In fact, the deeper I got into The Bible, the tighter my relationship with The Lord became. I started wondering though, why do I believe what I believe? There are many religions in the world, why is Christianity the truth? I realized, and I truly believe that God brought this to my attention, that I was living my faith blindly. I got saved very quickly, and He changed my life so dramatically that I didn't question why I believed. After this realization, I started seeking answers. I admitted to my mom, who is my mentor, that I had all these questions about Jesus, and Christianity in general. I also admitted to God that I had these questions.

 

The surprising thing is, as soon as I admitted to God that I was questioning Him, He answered. He didn't shame me and scold me for doubting. He brought to my attention that asking questions is how we grow. He wants me to ask, and to seek. He wants me to grow. In school we ask questions if we are confused and a teacher answers. In the same way, The Lord does the same. Every question that has come into my head has been answered. Sometimes, it may be a question I didn't even directly bring to God. He cares about me and takes the time to help me.

 

I picture the process like this, God is pushing me to another level in my faith, and this process includes seeking answers and backing up why I believe in Him. He's putting me on a high wire, or a tight-rope. This situation is uncomfortable, but it's pushing me. At the same time, while I'm on this tight-rope, I'm in a safety harness. God is that safety harness. God is the creator of the universe and there is no question too big that He cannot answer.

 

I have never felt more secure in my faith than I do now. Even though I'm still acting like a toddler and asking God, "Why?", all the time, I now have a strong foundation to build on. By reading The Bible thoroughly and thoughtfully and asking God and other Christians who have more wisdom than me questions about it, I feel much stronger.

 

Don't be afraid to admit to other's that you have questions, and don't be afraid to tell God. He truly has an answer for everything. Don't be afraid to let other's know what is going on in your mind. Christianity should be all about transparency. God did not call us to be perfect humans with all the answers, if we knew everything, what need would there be for Him?

Lean on Him, in doubts, in trials, in happiness, in everything.